Put Your Affairs in Order
by KayKayeLLe
Summary: Mary comes back home, but she is keeping something from her family. Will the Camdens be able to get it out of her and help her through the toughest time of her life? Happens in place of episodes Broken and Prodigal from Season 6
1. Chapter 1

***** Disclaimer: I do not own 7th Heaven or any of its characters or settings. They belong solely to the extremely talented Brenda Hampton and Aaron Spelling.**

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**Put Your Affairs in Order**

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A yellow taxicab pulls away from the Camden house, leaving Mary in the driveway. She bends down, picking up her two filled suitcases.  Her eyes begin to well up with tears, as she looks at her house. Now, it seems just like a house, rather than the home it had once been to her. The house she had grown up in, kissed him in, fallen asleep with him in, and had so many other happy times. Every room brings some memory to the surface, even the driveway.

Mary remembers walking up the driveway with Wilson after dinner at the pool hall, and her parents approaching them. Pregnant! That was absurd! She's thought about that night more often now, sometimes wishing that she really had been pregnant. Then things would have been different, they would have been closer, and he still would be with her. Or at least not where he is now, wherever he is. 

She had stopped believing in God over three weeks ago, and along with that the concept of heaven. She feels even more ill at ease because she can't picture him in a better place; in her mind that place no longer exists. If there really were a God, why would He do this? Not even to her, but to Wilson. He was such a good man, responsible-gave 110% to right his one wrong. And even if God had another plan for Wilson, how could he do this to Billy? No mother and no father? He's only five years old, and already has no reason to exist, and no one to exist for.__

_After waiting at the train station for him for over 4 hours, I was starting to get annoyed. I was angry with him, for not showing up like he said he would. He just told me last night he wanted to marry me, and now he doesn't show? _

_I had been anxiously watching the door for a while, when the Colonel walked in. _

_"Colonel, what are you doing here?"_

_"Mary, I don't know how to say this to you, so I'm just going to say it. There's been an accident. Wilson is in the hospital."_

Mary realizes that she can't risk standing in the driveway too much longer. She will be seen and questioned indefinitely. She wipes her eyes and walks up to the front door, awkwardly ringing the bell. A few seconds later, the door swings open, and reveals Ruthie.

"Hey Ruthie! I'm home!"

Ruthie stares at her strangely. "Mary?"

"Who else would I be?" she asks, half sarcastically and half playfully. She picks up her bags, and plops them inside the house, two and a half feet in front of the doorframe.

Annie walks in from the kitchen, and lays eyes on her eldest daughter. "Mary!" she shrieks, running up to her. She throws her arms around Mary. Strangely, she feels comforted, but that quickly subsides. She wonders if her mother knows about Wilson, and why she's home. "I didn't know that you were planning on visiting!"

"Well, actually, I'm not visiting. I was planning on moving back here, if that's OK."

"Oh, that's more than OK." She says, pulling away from Mary. She turns towards the stairs, and yells up them. "Everybody, come down here now! Mary's home!"

Mary wishes she hadn't done that. A good ol' Camden ambush, she wasn't up for one of those just yet. Eric is the first to come down the stairs, followed by Matt, Robbie, and Simon. They all welcome her home, while Mary notices that someone is missing. 

"Where's Lucy?" she asks, trying not to leave her sister out. She knows she hates that.

They can hear Lucy rushing down the attic stairs. "Mom, did you call us?" she yells from the hallway upstairs. Mary runs up the stairs to her sister, both of them excited. Mary hopes that no one notices that it is forced excitement. What she really wants to do is crawl into her bed until she is over this, not embrace her closest sibling. Lucy notices that something is wrong with Mary, but refrains from asking her in front of the entire family.

"How about we all sit in the living room and talk?" Annie asks after the pair of girls greets each other. 

Mary was not going to let that happen. "Actually, could I maybe take a nap first? I'm really tired, that was such a long flight."

"Oh, OK honey. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired."

"Ok. Well, Ruthie has taken your old bed…"

"You could use mine." Lucy chimes in. "I don't mind."

"Thanks Luce." She says, smiling at her sister.

Mary goes upstairs to the attic bedroom, and close the door behind her. She crawls into Lucy's bed, and pulls the covers up over her head. Her eyes well up with tears, and begin to fall as she falls victim to her grief within her.

_The Colonel drove me to the hospital. They informed us there that Wilson was in a coma, but wouldn't tell us much more.  My initial reaction was that I killed him. I was the one who forced him to elope, forced him to leave Billy. The one man I ever really loved, the only man I could love, and my wacky plan killed him. _

_The next thing that raced through my head was Billy. Where was he? Was he still at their neighbors? Did he know? Should I tell him?_

_I turned to my grandfather for help._

_"I don't know Mary. Maybe you should just leave it be. There's no reason to worry him if everything is going to be OK."_

_"Do you think that everything is going to be OK?"_

_"I don't know Mary. I really don't know."_

_I started to sob. The Colonel didn't even try to console me; he realized it was futile. He talked to me about Wilson before, and he knew how much I cared for him. _

Mary continued to sob under the sheets, until she hears someone enter the room. She hopes its not…heck, she hopes no one ever was at the door in the first place. She stops crying, and wishes that whoever it is wouldn't bother her. She feels the person sit down on the bed, and place their hand on her.

"Mary? Are you awake?"

Mary wipes her eyes to the best of her ability, and then pulls the comforter away from her head.

"You rushed away so quickly. Is everything all right?" Lucy asks her.

"Yeah," she lied through her teeth, "I'm just really tired."

"Oh, OK. Well, you must have been busy before you left. I called you for a month and you never called me back."

"Sorry about that. I just didn't have the time."

"What were you so busy with?"

"Oh, you know, things. Working at the shelter, stuff like that."

Lucy knows she is lying to her. "Yeah. So, what's going on with you and Wilson? Weren't you two planning on getting married?"

The mere mention of his name and her eyes well up. She blinks the tears away, and struggles to answer Lucy's question. "I, we, he, uh, I really am tired. We can talk later, I promise, just you and me. I want to catch up on your life."

Lucy knows that something is up, and she's guessing it has to do with Wilson. She thought she saw tears in Mary's eyes, but it could have been just the way the sunlight from the window was hitting them. Nonetheless, she knows that Mary is not in the mood to talk, much less about her personal life, so Lucy says goodbye. 

Once she is out of the room, Mary brings the covers back over her head.

_As I was crying, I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling to see Wilson now. I can't describe it, but something told me it was now or by never. After arguing with the nurses for a half hour about not being family, they finally gave up and let me see him._

_It was awful. He was in a coma; it was so scary. I tried to convince myself he was sleeping, but that didn't work. It was almost too much for me to look at. He had a huge cut on his forehead, his left arm was bandaged, and he had an IV attached to him. I've never been as sad as I was at that moment. _

_I looked around to make sure no one was coming in or anything, and I took his right hand. I started to talk to him, hoping that on some level he could hear me. _

_I didn't know what to say, so I sort of just rambled on and on. Its weird talking to someone you know isn't listening and won't talk back._

_"Wilson, uh, its Mary in case you didn't know. Oh gosh, I don't know what to say to you. Um, I love you, and I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I never should have rushed you into marrying me. If I waited, this wouldn't have happened to you. But enough about that, onto the more important things. I- I hope you wake up. No, I need you to wake up. I love you, and I can't imagine my life without. I guess that's why I wanted to marry you. Please don't leave me. I really do love you." After I said that, I could have sworn I felt his hand move. But at any rate, I was satisfied with what I said. I felt almost at peace with him, and with this whole situation- almost. Looking back, I don't know how that was possible, but I did._


	2. Chapter 2

Later that day at dinner, conversation is light. No one was really saying much. They all seemed to be wrapped up in their own thoughts. All of them, that is, except for Eric. He eyed Mary up and down, noticing that she hadn't looked up from her plate since she sat down. He wondered why she had just shown up, without any indication of coming home. He wondered why no one had heard from her in over a month prior to now. He wondered why she was acting so strangely. But most of all, he wondered what she was hiding, and he was determined to find that out.

"So Mary, what's going on in your life? Last I heard things were getting pretty serious with Wilson, no?"

Mary puts her fork down and looks towards her mother at the other end of the table, pretending not to have heard her father at all. "I'm still really tired, maybe I am coming down with something. May I be excused?"

"Sure honey. Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I think so." She hated lying to them like this, she really did. She never liked lying to her family before, but especially not now. She needs their help, she knows she does, but she can't ask for it. She wants to, but she doesn't think they will understand. She also doesn't want them to write this off as one of "Mary's Mistakes" again. Even though she blames herself, she was well aware that from an outsider's perspective none of this would seem like her fault.

Mary walks upstairs and sits back down on Lucy's bed. 

_I stayed in the hospital for over 24 hours. I was surprised that none of Wilson's family had shown up, and that the Colonel and me were the only ones there. I was so happy that he stayed with me. He was never really good with emotions, but he knew it was important that he be there. That's what I like about the Colonel; he always does the right thing._

_I was really starting to annoy the nurse that was working with Wilson. Every time she would come out I would hound her. Most of the time she came out and told me there was no change, but towards the end she came out and looked funny. I rushed up to her, and she told me that things weren't going great. His heart rate was starting to drop, and that was not a good sign._

_I knew he wasn't going to make it, I could feel it in my bones. I asked her how much longer he had._

_"Truthfully? Well, I'm not a doctor, but I wouldn't say much longer than four hours. I'm sorry."_

_I thanked her, and sat down and cried. I felt so helpless, knowing that Wilson was just behind that wall that connected to the waiting room, dying, and I couldn't do anything. I wanted to scream and throw things, anything to let out my anger. I wanted to kiss him one last time- feel his lips on mine. I wanted to hold him and never let him go, and now he was slipping away from me and there was nothing I could do to keep him here with me._

Mary hears someone coming up the stairs. They turn the corner, into the bedroom, and she sees that it is Lucy.

"I know you're not asleep." She says to Mary, who can barely hear her through the sheets. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. OK?"

"What's bothering you then?"

"Nothing."

"Fine." Lucy says, not sounding convinced. "But if you want to talk, I'm here."

"I know, I know," Mary says aggravated. "You're all here."

"If you don't want to talk then, can I do anything for you?'

"No, I told you I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You know, you might as well just tell me," Lucy pleads. "You know Dad is going to find out soon enough."

"Not if I can help it."

"So you are hiding something!" Lucy shrieks.

"No!" Mary says, covering her mouth with her hand.

Lucy laughs. "Fine. But you've been home for what, three hours now? I'm sure Dad has called the Colonel at least twice by now." Mary's face turns whiter than the snow she left behind in Buffalo. "Are you sure you're not sick?"

Mary gulps hard. "Do you think he has called him?"

"I don't know."

"Do you think who called who?" Ruthie asks, peeking her head inside the door.

"Did Dad call the Colonel?"

"No, not yet at least." Mary lets out a huge sigh of relief. "Why?" Ruthie asks her.

"Oh, no reason."

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Come on Ruthie. Let's leave Mary alone. She's obviously not going tell us anything."

Ruthie and Lucy exit the room, and Mary picks up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Colonel."

"Mary. What a pleasant surprise. Did you get back home OK?"

"Yes, the flight was fine."

"And Billy?"

"Well…he got home all right. I took a cab to his grandparents house and dropped him off before coming here." 

"It was very nice of you to do that for the West's."

"It's the least I can do."

"So, did you want something?"

"Yes. I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Just name it."

"You didn't tell my father about…" Mary couldn't even say it. "Did you?"

"No."

"Well, when he calls- you know he'll call- could you not tell him. I want to be the one to tell him and the rest of the family."

"Ok." He says without putting up a fight. "If that's what you want."

"Thanks Colonel."

_Wilson was officially pronounced dead at 3:54 in the afternoon. You might as well have pronounced my heart dead then too. I will never love another man again. Some people say that, though, when their spouse or whatever dies and they end up being remarried again in less than 6 months. Not me. Wilson was the one. I am sure of it. I know I screwed things up in the past- well, practically every time we broke up, but I was trying hard to make it work. He was my everything, and it is so weird going through the day without him, and even worse that he's not here because he is dead. After I found out, I cried for at least an hour. I finally stopped when there were no more tears left, my soul was dry. I could have cried for a long time more- maybe 40 days and 40 nights, and then Noah could come and build me an arc and take me to wherever Wilson is._

_Anyways, after I calmed down a little and we left the hospital, I went by myself to go find Billy. Instead, I ran into Mrs. Corning in the hallway of Wilson's floor. When I told her the news, she looked about almost as awful as I must have. Then when I asked her about Billy, fear struck her. You could tell she was meant to be a mother._

_"I don't know what's going to happen to him now. Do you know where his mother is by any chance?"_

_"Actually, she died giving birth to Billy- complications."_

_"Oh, how awful. No mother and no father, its so sad." Her eyes welled up with tears. "He was such a handsome man, and such a good father."_

_"And responsible, and considerate, and sexy." I lost it then. I couldn't keep it together anymore; he was perfect. Why him? Why? Mrs. Corning tried to comfort me, but it didn't help. The only thing that would have helped me at that point was to wake up, and find out this was all a dream._


	3. Chapter 3

For the next couple of days, Mary mopes around the house, trying to avoid all contact with her family members. She was succeeding in doing so, for the most part, except when it came to her father. Every chance he got he cornered her in a deep conversation. Mary could tell, though, that he had no idea what was going on. Their talks consisted of him jumping from one subject to another very frequently- from drugs, to working, to relationships- practically every topic a person could ever think of. Mary stayed tough, and never gave him any hints as to what was going on. Luckily for her, he only blatantly asked her about Wilson maybe once or twice, and she was able to quickly change the subject.

After yet another conversation with her father, and exhausted Mary goes upstairs to her bedroom and locks the door. Pleased that no one was in the room, Mary sits on the bed that they had set up for her just the other day. She curls up into a tight ball, bringing her knees to her chest and putting her head on top of them. She starts to sob uncontrollably as her mind races from Wilson to Billy to her family, then back again in a circular pattern.

She had been crying for at least five minutes when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Mary is startled- she thought she was alone up there. She turns and sees that it is Ruthie next to her, just the person she didn't want to see.

"Are you all right?" Ruthie asks sounding concerned.

Mary wipes her eyes quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because, OK?"

Ruthie rolls her eyes. "Fine. But you've been acting like this since you came home. Have you talked to anyone yet?" Mary doesn't answer her. "That's what I thought. You need to talk to someone."

"There's nothing to talk about," Mary says in complete denial. She pauses for a second, and then continues. "You know what, I'm going out."

"Good- some fresh air might help you. Where are you going?"

"No where," Mary says standing up and walking out of the door. As she walks down the attic stares, she passes Matt. He stop and stares at her, then continues walking up into the bedroom.

"Where is she going?" he asks Ruthie.

"Out."

"Good. Meeting downstairs, now."

"Family meeting?"

"More like sibling meeting." He says putting his hand behind Ruthie's back and pushing her in the direction of the door.

_After I told Billy what happened, I made two phone calls. The first call was to the Colonel._

_"I'm going to spend the night at Wilson's apartment with Billy. There really isn't anyone to watch him."_

_"Is that where you are now?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Ok Mary. But if you need me for anything, don't hesitate to call."_

_"I won't. Thanks Colonel."_

_Next, I searched through Wilson's things and found his parent's number. I knew it at one point, but had forgot it over the years. It felt so weird searching through Wilson's things. It felt so wrong, so evil. I felt that I shouldn't be disturbing any of his stuff, but I had to. I had to find out what I should do with Billy._

_Once I got in contact with his parents, I volunteered to watch Billy for a couple of days, until they could figure out how they were going to get him. Little did I know he was going to end up flying back with me, but I'll get to that later._

_Billy and I both slept on the couch that night. Well, he slept and I laid there. He cried himself to sleep, and held onto me so tightly. It broke my heart to see him like that. The only thing I kept thinking that night, as awful as it sounds, was that I'd hate to be him. I'm not as evil as I sound, really, but think about it. His life is so complicated and confusing already, and he's only five years old. And that's all my fault, too. If I just could have waited a week, a couple of days even, he would have a Daddy and a Mommy, instead of grandparents he hasn't seen in two years, and probably barely remembers._

Matt, Lucy, Simon, and Ruthie were all in the living room. The younger kids were sitting in the couches as Matt stood in front of the three of them.

"Wait," Ruthie says before they start. "Why isn't Robbie here?"

"He's not home. He's at the library studying." Lucy says.

Ruthie nods.

"Anyways," Matt says interrupting them, sounding slightly annoyed, "I wanted to talk to you all about Mary. I noticed she's been a little, well, _off_, since she came home. What about you guys?" Matt says.

"Yeah," Ruthie says, "She was just upstairs crying."

"So she was crying!" Lucy remarks. "I thought she was crying the other day when she first got here, but I shrugged it off."

"Yeah, she looks really upset," adds Simon.

"I agree." Matt says. "So what do you think is wrong? My money's on Wilson."

"Me too," says Ruthie.

"Me three," Simon chimes in.

"I hate to say it, but you guys are probably right." Lucy says.

"So what do you think happened with Wilson?" Matt asks. All three of them shrug. "OK, um, Luce, what was the last thing you found out about the two of them?"

"Well, I thought they were engaged, but I could be wrong."

"I know!" Ruthie cries suddenly. "We should call Wilson."

"I did," Matt admits, "But his phone had been disconnected. I thought that was odd."

"Way odd," Simon says.

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait for Dad to drag it out of her then," Ruthie says. Everyone laughs.

"I guess. " Matt says. "Unless…"

"Unless what?" Lucy asks.

"Plan?"

"No plan. If she's crying she's obviously really upset and I'd rather have her mad at Dad than us."

"Good point," says Matt. "So our plan can be to leave her alone then. Got it?"

"But-" Ruthie says, but is silenced when everyone stared back at her. "Ok ok, geez."

_The next morning, Wilson's parents called. _

_"How long can you watch Billy for?" His mother asked me._

_I thought, and I really had no plans. Besides, I wanted to do whatever I could to help them out. "For as long as you need me to."_

_"Great. There's a flight out here in about two weeks, is that all right?"_

_Two weeks is a long time. "Uh, yeah that's fine."_

_"Great. I can't thank you enough."_

_I hung up the phone, and turned toward Billy. He looked so upset and so sad. I decided to take him out of the apartment._

_"Want to go somewhere?" I asked him. He didn't answer me, he only shrugged. "Want to go to the park?" He shook his head. "Go get breakfast?" _

_"Not hungry." He mumbled._

_"Me either."_

_"Who was on the phone before?"_

_"Oh, your Grandma and Grandpa. They said that in two weeks you're going to go back to GlenOak and live with them. Is that OK with you?"_

_"But what's going to happen to you?"_

_"Good question." I said to him. What was going to happen to me? Little did he know what I was going through right now- the moral battle with myself._

Mary gets out of her car, now parked at the GlenOak Memorial Park, and walks over to the graves. She stops in front of Wilson's, and kneels down. Mary uses all of her strength not to cry, and to try and sit there like a normal human being. She kneeled there for a while, not thinking of anything important, when her mind starts to take in her surrounding. It registers in her mind that Wilson is lying six feet underneath her. The idea of that really creeps her out, and she stands up. 

"I'm sorry," she finally says out loud, "I'm being disrespectful. I'm just so ashamed of all of this. Look at me." Mary says throwing her hands up in the air. "I landed myself in the same position as you did." Tears start to roll down her face, and she can't stop them from coming. She sobs, harder than she has since that day at the hospital, as the brisk December air engulfs her. She succumbs to her emotions and falls back in front of Wilson's gravestone. 


	4. Chapter 4

Mary arrives home, and walks inside the house. She walks upstairs to Robbie's room, determined to find him. On her way home, she concluded that Robbie should be the one she tells. He'll understand better than anyone else she could think of. She has to tell someone- the pain and guilt is eating away at what is left of her heart. She reaches his bedroom door, and knocks gently. 

"Come in," Matt's voice says from the other side of the door. 

She enters the room to find Matt staring at her and Robbie reading one of his textbooks. "Uh, I kind of wanted to talk to Robbie." She says timidly. 

"Me?" Robbie says looking up from his book. Mary nods, as Matt reluctantly gets up and leaves the room. Robbie looks at Mary's face, which appears to be a little wet, and her bloodshot eyes. "Are you sick or something?"

"Not exactly." Mary says.

Robbie looks at her confused. "Well, anyways, I'm glad you're here. I have something I think you should know." Mary sits on Matt's bed and motions for him to continue. "I don't know why you came home or anything, but I just wanted to tell you now- get it out in the open, that I have a girlfriend. And it's not Lucy."

Mary rolls her eyes and stands up hurt. "Is that all you think of me?" She says, her voice increasing in volume with every word that comes out of her mouth. "Do you really think I'm that shallow? That's it, I'm just wacky boy-crazy Mary whose biggest problem in her life could only possibly be to try and get her old boyfriend back! Ugh!" Mary goes over to the door, placing her hand on the knob. Just before she opens it, she looks back at Robbie. "You're the one person I thought I could confide this in and now I have no one. Thank you for that," she says in a low voice. Mary opens the door violently and walks out, bowling over Matt who was listening to them at the door. She runs up the stairs to her bedroom to find both Lucy and Ruthie in there.

"Could you leave, please?" Mary says to them in a rude tone of voice. They both leave, and Mary locks the door behind them. She sits on her bed, and attempts to wash her troubles away with tears. Less than two minutes later, she hears knocking at the door. "Go away." She yells barely understandably due to her crying through the door.

"Mary, it's your mother, could I come in?"

"No."

Thirty seconds later there is another knock. "It's your father. Do you want to talk?"

"No! Please, just leave me alone!"

Outside, the family walks away from the door, except for Robbie. His sits on the floor, leaning against the white wood, running over his encounter with Mary in his head. Five minutes later, still not knowing what he did wrong, he decides to give it a shot. He stands and knocks on the door. "Mary, I'm really sorry. Could I come in?"

"Are you alone?"

"Yes, no one else knows I'm up here."

Mary stands and unlocks the door. Robbie walks inside and she locks it again behind them. "Is that all really necessary? Is this that big?" Robbie says pointing to the door.

"Yes." Mary says, tears starting to run down her face again.

"You're crying," he says looking into her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Mary merely turns her head away from his and sits down on her bed.

"I thought you wanted to talk to me." Robbie says sitting next to her.

"I do. It's just I don't know how to say this."

"Well I'm not going to pressure you." Robbie says standing up. He's not going to force this out of her, and is letting her progress the conversation at your own speed. He walks over to the door. "I'll come back later and then we can talk if you still want to."

"No wait!" Mary says before he leaves. Robbie comes back over to Mary and sits next to her once more. "I…I…never mind. I can't say it."

"You sure? Because if you want to talk I'm here."

"I want to, but I can't."

"Ok, um, why can't you?" Robbie asks her, determined to help her.

Mary puts her head in her hands and starts to cry. "Its too painful."

"I bet it's not as bad as your making it out to be."

"I-I-I," Mary stammers, stalling. "I'm pregnant."

Robbie gulps hard. "Pregnant?" He asks her. She nods yes. "Did you go to a doctor?"

Again, she nods. "Back in Buffalo." 

"How far along are you?"

"Almost four months."

"That explains the sweatpants." Robbie says, trying to make light of the situation. "Buts it's not the end of the world, Mary. You'll get through this. You've been blessed to give the gift of life."

"When did I turn into Santa?" She says sounding very cynical.

"Maybe its because your so jolly." Robbie says to her.

"Yeah…" Mary mumbles looking down at the floor.

"So," Robbie says sheepishly. "Who's the father? Is it Wilson?"

Mary nods.

"I'll kill 'em."

"You can't!" Mary says raising her voice and crying louder. "He's already dead!"

Robbie is taken aback. "What?" He says softly.

"Wilson died in one month and ten days ago in a car accident."

"I'm so sorry." Robbie says full of sorrow.

"We were going to elope- take a train to Niagara Falls- but he never got there."

"I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't think so." Mary pauses. "You know, maybe your not the right person to talk about this with. I mean, the whole thing last summer, and you didn't know Wilson very well."

"Yeah, but I know you. And this is about you, not Wilson."

Mary starts to cry hysterically and gets up. "I'm sorry," she mumbles to Robbie as she walks out of the room and into the bathroom. Robbie gets up and chases after her. He knocks on the door to the bathroom, but gets no response- only the sound of Mary's sobs come through the door. Flustered, Robbie walks downstairs and into his bedroom.

"Is she OK?' Matt asks him upon reentering the room. 

"Maybe." Robbie answers sitting back don on his bed and picking up his book.

"What do you mean 'maybe'? What's going on with her?"

"Its not my place to say."

"So? Tell me anyways. I'm her big brother, I have a right to know."

"I think she'll tell you all soon enough.  In fact, if she sticks around she'll have to."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying give her time."

_Two and a half weeks later, I was packing my bags. I decided to go back home with Billy. The flight was cheap, no stopovers or anything too, and I couldn't bear to stay here anymore. The colonel had told me time and time again, even before any of this happened, that I could go back to GlenOak whenever I wanted to. In short, no one was holding me prisoner there in Buffalo anymore. I decided it was time I left. My mission was accomplished here. I'm no longer spiraling into a self-made bottomless pit.  _

_I wanted so badly to be in my own bed. I felt like I was in limbo, I didn't belong here anymore, but didn't know if I belonged home either. Nonetheless, I was on my way, on the plane with Billy- back to suburban GlenOak, constant ridicule, and forcing of information I was not ready to give._

Upstairs, there is a knock at the bathroom door. Thinking its Robbie, Mary opens it. Instead, she finds Lucy on the other side of the door.

"Can we talk?"

"If its about me, no. Anything else, sure."

Lucy rolls her eyes. "Just answer me one question." She says seriously. "Honestly, are you all right?"

Mary looks Lucy straight in the eyes. "No." She walks right past her and down the stairs, into the hallway. Robbie lays eyes on Mary, and runs out into the hallway. He whisks her into Sam and David's room, closing the door behind them.

"Look, Mary, whatever I said to make you feel uncomfortable I'm sorry. From the bottom of my heart I apologize. But I understand why you aren't ready to tell your family, but since you told me, don't run away. Use me. I'm here for you and I want to help."

Mary nods and Robbie pulls her in for a sympathetic hug. She sobs on his shoulder as he thinks of what to say next.

"You never told him, did you? He didn't know."

Mary shakes her head. "I couldn't bring myself to tell him. After that night things weren't right between us, he-"

"I don't need to know the details." Robbie tells her.

"But I can't keep it inside anymore. I'm afraid it's just all going to spill out."

"Then let it spill out. I know a group of people that are itching to hear your story."

"What if they kick me out? What if they hate me?" She says wiping her eyes.

"They won't."

"How do you know that?"

"Your parents do have some compassion."

"Not for things like this- not for me. I screwed up royally."

"But, if I remember correctly, you tried to fix things. You were going to marry him, which would be the right thing to do in that situation."

"You don't understand. I never should have been in that situation to begin with." She stops for a second, looking straight into Robbie's eyes. "Robbie, I'm petrified. I can't do this alone. I need him."

"Your Mary Camden. You don't need anyone- except maybe your family. Now go tell them."

"Maybe tomorrow." Mary says trying to back out of it.

"Not later, now." Robbie opens the door. "Go."

Mary walks out of the door, Robbie behind her, in search of her parents. She finds the two of them in the kitchen.

"Mary," her father says looking at her, "we were just talking about you."

"Are you all right dear?" Annie asks.

"No, I'm not. I have to talk to you, and the rest of the family."

"Ok, um, dinner's going to be ready soon. After dinner." 

"Could dinner wait? This is kind of important."

"I guess so honey."

"I'll go round everyone up." Eric says walking up the stairs. 

Mary walks into the living room alone, and sits down on the couch momentarily. As she waits for everyone to arrive, she battles tears, going over what she is going to say to the Camden clan in her head. When she finally settles on her first sentence, she stops herself. "I can't do this," she says aloud to no one in particular.

"Yes you can," a familiar voice says from in back of her. "I'll be right here with you."

Mary turns around to see Wilson standing directly behind her. Surprisingly, she is neither scared nor frightened. "I need you," she tells him blatantly. 

"You'll be fine," Wilson says to her, "remember that. I have to go now, but I'll be watching you. Whenever you really need me, I'll be here."

"But-"

"No one is going to hate you, and for the record I don't either. Good bye Mary." Wilson's appearance gets lighter and lighter until he fades away.

Mary's ears pick up shuffling on the stairs, and she turns around to find the rest of the family coming into the living room.

"You ok?" Ruthie says to her. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Yeah…" Mary mumbles. She stands up in front of her family. "I know you all have been wondering what's going on with me since I came home. Well…"

****

**THE END**


End file.
